to be alone.

9:03 PM

It has been two weeks since I moved into the Roadie Villa. So far it has been an amazing experience. Living with 63 other sleep-deprived world changing activists is an experience I can't easily describe. You would never imagine ending a war could be so fun. The Roadie house is constantly buzzing with intellectual conversations, dance parties and hours of America's Funniest Home Videos.

The one aspect that I have struggled with, however, is finding alone time. I can't even take a shower without 3 other people coming in to brush their teeth and one person in the shower next to me. I never realized how important it is for me to be alone with God. In fact, I used to hate being alone but lately it has become vital for my soul.

Today I went back to Mosaic. I continue to love this church because it isn't focused on putting on a show. It's raw and real but the greatest part about it is the worship. There are only three times in my life that I can recall crying during worship. I experienced one of those times today. The tears did not come because I was sad or because I was sleep deprived (although, I am, did I mention that?). The tears came because for the first time in a long time, even amidst being surrounded by people, I was alone with my Father in a divine romance. I could hear the group around me serenading along but I could have sworn for a solid 15 minutes, I was alone with God. The most amazing part about it all was that I didn't feel the need to explain to God why I had abandoned him this week, why I had failed to find the time to be alone or why I had let my insecurities translate into mistrust in Him. There was a sense of stillness that assured me that He knew my downfalls but it didn't matter because this was our time. It's that amazing grace I hear so much about, emphasis on amazing.

I'm ready to invest myself, to find inspiration in every human I interact with and to make quiet time a priority. Each day is much too short to put into words the transformation I am experiencing, I wish I could somehow share it all instead of word-vomiting it all out once a week. I'm pretty certain this will only make sense to me, maybe that's enough. All that I know is that too much of my life consisted of not realizing the power of my own voice. That's going to change this year.

travel light, live light, spread the light.

"lighthouses don't go running all over the islands looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining" 

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