it's 11:32 pm. my to do list is swarming with major projects and papers. tomorrow i have work, a meeting and a dirty apartment in demand of my attention. i should be asleep. but something has led me to blog. i was never a diary type of person. i would usually start one out of an ambitious moment of inspiration but never would it last for more than a week. it seems to me that this might be another failed attempt at a diary. so why do i do this to myself? too often i find myself so full of thought that all i can think of doing is writing it down. i guess i'm not writing this necessarily to be seen by anybody, but to somehow understand my thoughts, and therefore understand myself. this might be a gong show, but then again aren't those the most entertaining?