the little things.

3:48 PM

I don't know the meaning of life, but I think I am getting closer. 

Every Saturday, I do something called Crossover. Crossover is a ministry that allows Lee students the opportunity to bring groceries to the impoverished in East Cleveland. It isn't about the groceries though, the food just gets you in the door. It's about the conversation and it's about the time. 

I met Ms. Sylvia in September of last year. In just one year, she has become incredibly special to me, like a great aunt or a second grandma. Her story will break your heart. It breaks my heart over again every Saturday. I will not share it here because I believe that there is something intimate about her ability to share it with others. 

Today I became completely overwhelmed. I am an all or nothing type of person. If I see a problem, I want to fix it. On a weekly basis she expresses her financial frustration with me. I can not rid Ms. Sylvia of her financial problems, I wish I could. Really, I just wish that I was a millionaire. I leave her little one bedroom house every Saturday and go back to my life of unappreciated indulgence. It is something that is hard for me to stomach, and I always leave wishing that there was something more that I could do. What I am slowly learning is that some people use their money to save the world, others use their time.

Something else I have learned: Mother Teresa is a BOSS, seriously, google her; she was a crazy rebel, bad-a type of woman. One of her famous sayings has become my mission statement and many times it is the reason I wake up early on Saturdays. She says this, 
“What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

It's not about curing cancer but the hours of meticulous research towards a common goal. With Invisible Children and the war in East Africa, It's not about the millions of dollars raised but the pennies donated that got us there. With Ms. Sylvia, it is not about saving her from despair but giving the love, grace and time that contribute to her stages of happiness. 
It's about the small things.

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